When Schools Are Unsafe Places for Girls, Can We Talk Education?

Till the time we make this world a safe place for women we can’t stress on educating girls.

THE 50 MILLION MISSING CAMPAIGN BLOG ON INDIA'S FEMALE GENDERCIDE

Prime Minister Modi recently told a nationwide gathering of students, that he intends to make the education of girls a priority for India.  He said his government has put into place many measures to ensure education for all girls, such as building toilets for girls. There are states in India where half the schools don’t have toilets, and this issue certainly needs attention.

RIGHT TO EDUCATIONHowever, The 50 Million Missing Campaign believes that one of the most critical issues that needs to be urgently addressed, is the escalation of incidents of rape and violence on girls while they are in school or while they are on their way to or going home from school.

Schools are now increasingly seen as unsafe places for girls in India.  This is one of the major reasons many families in rural and slum areas are unwilling to send their girls to school, and often…

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Alert!: Is your Child Playing the Dangerous Choking Game?

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Few days back when I came across a link posted on Facebook by my best friend on the choking game, I had numerous reactions but my initial reaction after reading that news was of shock and disbelief and I was left wondering by what standards was this stupid, mindless phenomenon being called as a game, and that too choking game of all the names. But then it is being observed that kids love this game, as it gives them a high like a potent drug. So what exactly is this choking game, and how are our children in danger due to this potentially dangerous phenomenon.

To read further click here

Many Dussehras Gone, But Ravana still lives on…

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On the occasion of Dussehra one of the leading newspapers of the country Times of India had published an advertorial saying – Ravana advertorial Many Dussehras Gone, But Ravana still lives on….(this is bold all caps font) and below in the readable font size is this message – In lustful eyes, in wicked intentions, in the many social evils that threaten our women. This time, let us pledge to kill him for good, emerge victorious over the many crimes. Let us proclaim a safer India, where every woman can hold her head high and move around in total freedom. Along with the jargon of expressing your views on the matter! And finishing the entire thing with another melodramatic line – Raise your voice and burn him down.

Well I do have an opinion regarding the Ravana still living on because these creatures (forgive me I don’t cherish the thought of calling them humans) who commit crimes against women are worst than the king of demons was. Yes he did lust after Sita but never did he touch her because he was a man enough to know his limits. But today it seems that entire demons community has taken over the humans and committing such heinous crimes against women. Yes, we need to burn the effigies of Ravana and his brothers but we also need to remember that we need to first burn the root cause of these crimes committed against women and then only can we create an environment that is safe for women not just in India but all over the world.

On this Dussehra if all of us take a pledge to teach our sons that their women counterpart is no less than them and that they deserve the same respect as them then slowly and steadily, one step at a time we will be able to dissolve the gender difference and create a society where a woman will be able to roam freely with her head held high. And till then we can only hope and pray for such society.

Book Review: Aisle Be Damned by Rishi Piparaiya

For all those who have travelled by air or want to travel by air, the book Aisle Be Damned by Rishi Piparaiya can make for an interesting guide. Through the book the author talks about his numerous travels by the air to various countries and places and his experiences at the airport, on flight and off-flight.

Piparaiya in his unique style of humour has mentioned anything and everything possible that can go wrong through your air transit from – baggage loss, to missing the connecting flight because the first flight was not on time, to food, the horrendous coffee and of course the crowd.

Though the book is meant to be humorous with tongue in cheek humour there are places where I found the book dragging! The spark was missing at some places where a good editing could have saved the manuscript, as overall the book made for a good one-time read.

For a debutant author in a non-fiction category it is a unique topic with a personal take on everything that one goes through when one is travelling by air – from the time the ticket is booked to the time one reaches his or her final destination.
It is adieus from one flight to another.

Power struggles between couples

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Power struggles in a relationship and especially marriage are not an abnormal thing but they sure are a poison for a healthy relationship. Couples all over the world at some point or other have experienced power struggles between each other. Every marriage has its share of ups and downs with couples fighting with each other now and then but in a power struggle the fight is not healthy and there is a tussle of egos between the couples. In addition when you are engaging in a power struggle the arguments are not about the current situation but about the previous situation that made you uneasy but were never spoken aloud.

What is Power Struggle: Definition and Meaning

Power struggle is a constant bickering between partners who feel that their way is right and they are Mr or Ms Know it all. Power struggle has been defined by marriage counsellors, as a stage where couples see each other as competitor instead of a team and thus there are fights where one of the partners either blows off or freezes the other one out – both the stages are dangerous for maintaining a healthy relationship. In power struggle there is only one way and that could be of either husband or wife and in most of the cases it is seen that it is a wife who ends up in frustration and thus the cycle continues.

Recognising the signs of power struggle

It is easy to recognise whether a couple is having a healthy argument or are in power struggle where the reason for fighting is not to solve the problem but to bring out the old frustrations and hurts. Some of the signs that you are in power struggle rather than having a healthy argument are listed below:

1. When you become defensive

Whenever there is an argument you become defensive and start your counter attack without even listening to what other person has to say then you are in power struggle. This is so true in most of the cases where a wife or husband gets defensive whenever there is a general conversation and the other person feels that it is an indirect hit to him or her. And in most of such cases there is an emotional freeze out by the other person.

Solution: Remember a general comment is just that – a general comment. It is not meant to demean you or belittle you and your spouse is not pointing at you when he or she says something. Try to be more open-minded and trust yourself.

2. Don’t listen to each other

You know you are not fighting healthy when you both are shouting and none of you are listening to what other is saying. A common scenario when there is ego hassles between the couples. The egos are bigger than the problem and thus it seems like a slinging match, which results in both of them shouting at each other and not listening to each other. When there is resentment in the relationship there is a power struggle and power struggle in turn leads to turning your spouse out.

Solution: If you want to save your marriage then you must learn to listen. And by listening I mean really listen to each other. Listen to your partner when he or she talks about their day, because listening and talking are the two important ways you can improve your marital life.

3. Feel like that you both are parallel to each other

It is quite common for man and wife to have different views about lot of things. But if you are arguing over the most trivial issues like where to eat, who will make the bed or something like that then one of the spouse starts feeling that why are you both staying together. It also makes one of the spouses that both of you are on different pedestal and there is no way your thoughts can match each other.

Solution: Next time when you are bickering over the trivial issues just stop yourself and ask is it really worth fighting with each other. No matter how much his or her habit irks you remember that nobody is perfect not even you and each of us have typical flaws that make us all unique.

4. Emotionally freezing out

Too much bickering, constant nagging can also result in emotional freeze out of a partner by the other and this is not a healthy situation at all. Emotionally freezing out means that whatever the other person is saying is not even touching a cord in the other person. It also means that the other person is not concerned about his or her wife or husband and believes that it is nothing to be worried about.

Solution: Whatever happens, don’t freeze out each other emotionally for then you will not have anything to build your marriage on. If you feel that talking at that precise moment will not help then wait for things to cool down and then have a talk with each other.

5. Saying I am right you are wrong

Always thinking that you are right and the other person wrong is another crucial sign of power struggle. It is seen that there is one person in the relationship who believes that he or she is always right and the other person is wrong and his thought process is wrong and outdated or something like that have power struggles for even the most trivial issue.

Solution: Give some benefit of doubt to your spouse – he or she may be right you will only know when you give them a chance to voice their thoughts. You are not always right for you are a human and not a god.

Remember that power struggles are detrimental for your marriage so if you want to have a healthy marriage say no to power struggles and yes to healthy bickering.

 

 

A to Z posts I did for the challenge

(A)https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/01/a-is-for-abuse/

(B) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/02/b-is-for-becoming-besharam-to-counter-bekhauf-men/

(C) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/03/c-is-for-child-sexual-abuse/

(D) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/d-is-for-domestic-violence/

(E) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/05/eve-teasing-a-growing-problem-in-india/

(F) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/08/f-is-for-female-foeticide-death-before-birth/

(G) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/08/g-is-for-the-girl-child/

(H) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/09/h-is-for-hivaids/

(I) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/11/i-is-for-insensitivity-towards-international-problem-of-crime-against-women/

(J) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/11/j-is-for-jury-justice-and-judgment/

(K) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/12/k-is-for-kamasutra-an-ancient-guide-to-lovemaking/

(L) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/16/l-is-for-life-that-goes-on/

(M) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/16/m-is-for-marital-rape/

(N) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/16/n-is-for-nirbhaya-the-brave-one/

(O) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/18/o-is-for-older-people-and-abuse/

(P) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/18/p-is-for-politicians-police-and-power-party-to-sexual-abuse/

(Q) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/20/q-is-for-quality-of-life-for-women-and-children/

(R) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/21/r-is-for-rape-a-social-stigma/

(S) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/22/s-is-for-sex-workers-and-abuse/

(T) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/23/t-is-for-trafficking/

(U) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/25/u-is-for-umbrella/

(V) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/25/v-is-for-violence/

(W) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/27/w-is-for-working-women-and-sexual-harassment/

(X) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/x-is-for-xy-or-xx-dilemma-of-our-society/

(Y) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/y-is-for-ya-ya-sisterhood/

(Z) https://swatisays.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/z-is-for-zindagi-will-rock-again/

 

Z is for Zindagi will rock again

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Z is for Zindagi that will rock again and that will breathe again with a new hope. Z is for Zindadilli we girls have shown time and again when things have not gone our way. And Z is for us the ZENANAs of the society – without whom this society will cripple and fall down for you see it is the woman who makes a home out of a house –whether these patriarchs want to believe or not – they are nothing without their women folk.

Pack all the women of their house to their mothers’ house and ask these men to do to the household jobs – I am sure they are going to make a mess of it. And we women the ZENANAs of the society are expected to work outside homes and manage homes and be expert in both the fields. So Z is for us the ZINDADILI of all the ZENANAS of the world!

Take a bow, ladies for without you this world is incomplete whatever patriarch society may say, think or do!

Y is for Ya Ya Sisterhood

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Y is for Ya Ya Sisterhood! Sisterhood — the concept where we women stand up for each other and not against each other. The day we will start understanding this fact will be the day when the patriarch society will bow down before us and start respecting us. The respect that is our birthright as humans and till then we need to keep shouting — Ya Ya Sisterhood.

Believe in yourself and don’t stay silent.

X is for XY or XX — dilemma of our society

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X is for XY or XX – the age-old dilemma of our society. Since the time immemorial the birth of a XX (daughter) has been seen as a burden on the Indian parents with relatives adding their acid comments like now you will only have to save, save and save more. Forget about spending and start saving from today itself else you will not have sufficient money for her dowry. And the comments change into sugar coated praises if the new born is a XY (boy).

This XX or XY fight is the result of patriarchal thought process that doesn’t see a daughter beyond a burden on the family expenses, and the carrier of numerous tensions. XX or daughters and daughter-in-laws are considered as the honour of the family hence they are restricted to talk to men outside their homes. And heaven forbid if a girl crosses a line then the answer is honour killing. Yes, the honour killing – where innocent girl and boy are either shot to death or killed mercilessly.

Similarly if the daughter –in –law gives birth to a baby boy she is praised to heaven and fed with loads of delicious and nutritious food but if she gave birth to a daughter then all hell breaks loose on her and she is treated badly. Ironically, the patriarchs of the society don’t realise the fact that a birth of daughter or son is basically in their son’s hands – after all he is the XY and the woman is XX all that scientific logic explains that it is son who is responsible for the birth of son or daughter.

But unfortunately the patriarchal society does not like to take any responsibility but is ready to blame the womenfolk because it shifts the focus from them and put it onto the women – a weaker sex according to them.