L is for the LIFE that goes on…! The L post is dedicated to all those ladies who stood up against domestic violence and left their abusive marriages and partners to live their lives with respect and dignity that they and their kids deserved. It is a salute to the courage of those women who stood up against domestic violence and said enough is enough, because believe me it is easy to fall in the rut and self-blame but it is difficult to stand up for yourself, your rights and move out with grace and self-respect.
So this post is dedicated to women like Snehlata Jadhav from Mumbai, Rashmi Anand from New Delhi, Shanno Begum again from New Delhi took the decision of walking out of their abusive marriage and live a life of dignity and self-respect – something that is their birthright. After suffering for a period of decade in their marriage these ladies showed courage and decided that there is a limit to what they can take and hence walked out of the marriage.
Couple of years back Aamir Khan hosted a domestic violence episode on Satyamev Jayate, wherein these women were distinguished guests and they talked about the kind of lives they lived within two or three days of their marriage they experienced violence. In that episode the one thing Aamir Khan noticed was that ‘how easy was it for the man to defame the character of his wife, after she leaves him.’
Snehlata Jadhav, who is now a journalist, talked about her life post and pre marriage and how her hopes were dashed within couple of days. Despite suffering for more than 15-16 years of her married life with a hope that her husband will change one day, Snehlata today is full of hope for the life ahead and feels that those 16 years of her life doesn’t matter at all. She wants to pursue law and help other women like her.
Rashmi Anand, a well educated girl from a well to-do family, had never thought her marriage would become the kind of nightmare that she endured. Talking about her married life that a violent man doesn’t need a reason to hit his wife – a simple reason that the wife is not ready is enough for him to raise his hand. For Rashmi Anand the final straw came when her five year old son who saw all the abuse and the beatings his mother endured and altogether stopped talking and it was then she decided that enough was enough!
Shanno Begum the one of the two trained women chauffeur driving cabs around New Delhi talks about her identity pre-marriage and post marriage and how she is now known among her family and friends. Today she is living a respectful life and helping other ladies suffering from gender-based violence. For Shanno Begum the final straw came when her husband slammed her head with a stone and it was at that moment that Shanno decided that she can’t take it anymore and she slapped her husband back and left him and soon after that her husband passed away.
The story of all the women suffering from domestic violence was same – they remained silent for too long, thus giving the abuser more strength to torture them. But another thing common in them was that all three of them were pampered by their parents and after quitting their abusive marriage they made a career for themselves.
The text from the domestic violence episode of Satyamev Jayate!
“For countless women, entering married life often means the beginning of a stressful, violent existence. Beating one’s wife seems to be ingrained in many men’s mindsets as the appropriate behaviour for a strong male, but the consequences are misery for the wife and children, and often a broken, unhappy home. The concept of domestic violence is based on the notion of patriarchy, which needs to be converted into equality.”