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When a certain NGO approached me with the information that April is the month of Child Sexual Abuse Awareness month, I realised that CSA is another burning issue that is plaguing the entire world. And I am aghast at the facts and figures that shows that almost 90 percent of the kids are being molested everyday and at most times the molester is known to them. So I was determined to do a post on Child Sexual Abuse for A to Z challenge. But I will be doing three different posts on this topic for three different sites – one is for my blog, which I am doing, second I will be doing a post for Parentedge.in and the another one for the organisation tirelessly working for the cause.
Sexual abuse itself conjures up disturbing images and when it’s prefixed with child it becomes all the more disturbing, because kids most of the times don’t even realise what is happening to them or their bodies. They just feel dirty with the entire act and are scared to talk about to any adult for the fear of admonition from the adults. You know why? Well, because in most of the cases the abuser is the trusted adult – someone who is so gentle, kind-hearted and kids loving that if some kid was to take his name, he was sure to get reprimanded for his/her behaviour. There it comes again – Abusers, rapists, molesters all gain their strengths from SILENCE and SECRECY.
While I was researching for this topic there are lot of things that I came across and one of them was this quote by a renowned British author Beatrix Campbell – “Children’s bodies aren’t like automobiles with the assailant’s fingerprints lingering on the wheel. The world of sexual abuse is quintessentially secret. It is the perfect crime.”
Her words can’t be truer – the world of child sexual abuse is really dark, dirty and extremely secretive and it is this secrecy that the molester thrives on and repeats his shameless acts. Two years back Aamir Khan hosted an episode on Child Sexual Abuse and numerous kids came out in the open about their ordeal. It was difficult for them but I guess it was cathartic.
Today, thanks to the internet there are so many videos both animated and non-animated that talk about child sexual abuse and all of them have one message – Please listen to your children, they need your trust at this moment so please do give them some benefit of doubt. Because in most cases the molester is known to the entire family and can be your kid’s tuition teacher, your friend’s husband or anyone who is known to you.
According to the experts working to protect children against sexual abuse say that most of the time, kids know their abusers and the abuse occurs in the home. This makes it difficult for kids to speak up. They may feel trapped by the affection they feel for their abusers or fearful of the power the abusers have over them — so they stay silent. That’s why it’s especially important to be able to recognise the signs of child abuse.
With the hope that we will listen to our children I reiterate that Abusers, molesters, and rapists thrive on our silence so let’s break it and let’s shout loud! Let’s make some NOISE!
Swatz Says 
The world of child sexual abuse is really dark, dirty and extremely secretive and it is this secrecy that the molester thrives on and repeats his shameless acts. – very true. These days Bollywood mainstream is addressing such issues (I saw Monsoon wedding and I saw Highway). So that would in some small way help parents listen to their children without shushing them I think!
Yes Bollywood is highlighting these issues but still a lot needs to be done
That silence haunts me !
I saw highway movie and cried before I knew it. I hope many people come in to open. I hope kids get those guts to report such incidents
Good luck for bringing a change swati
Coming out in the open is the difficult part Afshan I know it because I have been a victim and the person was my maternal uncle someone we call MaMa in Hindi. Thank you I am just doing my bit by writing it and if you can and if you may please do share it with your set of readers and followers.
Beautifully written. I wonder at the mental state of the monsters who perpetrate such crimes on innocent lives. Kids trust them & have nothing but affection for them and what do they get in return? Unspeakable trauma, irreparable scars for life? Makes me sick.
It is the sick mentality that drives them and the fact that they can get away with it is what makes them commit such heinous crimes.
Yes. What you say is true. It’s a dark world there. Even more so when the person they trust to show the light is the one who is leading them to darkness. I feel awareness on the issue is increasing with each day, so perhaps that’s the lightest of silver linings. Not being silent, like u say, is the important step.
Yes Leo it is extremely difficult for the kids to speak up and if you have visited the links I have shared you would know what I am talking about.
Campbell has said it right. It is the secrecy that helps molesters from repeating their crime. I wrote an account of a horrible incestuous relationship once. True story that was narrated to me. Heart- breaking and mind- numbing.
Hi Dagny, Yes I can imagine as I still can’t forget the incestuous father of Austria. Please do share your writing with me on swati1012@gmail.com Would like to read about them. Please if you don’t mind.
Such a sad state…kudos to you for pitching in to bring this awareness.
Thank you Janaki! But I guess kudos to Arlee Bird for giving me the platform to write about the issues close to my heart. I am a lazy person so all the posts are ready with me in my journal typing out on the word is an effort and owing to this challenge I am making that effort. :p
Can never be talked about enough…..Should be talked about more and more often
So true! Please do share wherever you can and whenveer you can
Thank you so much for highlighting something that we still don’t talk about much in the open. I agree molesters thrive in our silence. Also as a society if we don’t speak to our kids about, if they don’t know about the danger, if they think it is okay because the molester is known to them, if the kid is not sure if anyone would believe him…we are still not doing our job. It is high time we break our silence and speak about it as loudly as we can.
Yes Sfurti breaking the silence is what we need! Thank you for taking time out to read my blogs.
Thanks for having the courage to talk about this very ‘taboo’ topic.
But it’s not just breaking the silence – although that’s a welcome step – I think the need of the hour is education. Indian children, especially, are kept in the dark about sex and ‘good touch’, ‘bad touch’ etc. for too long, because parents feel uncomfortable talking about it, or are afraid their kids will turn into sex maniacs, of all the nonsense!
By the time my parents got around to telling me about puberty and sex, it was too late – I’d already been abused by my uncle, and groped by a random man – at a time when I was too young to even understand what was happening.
Added to this is the Indian custom of forcing physical affection on strangers and relatives. Any time a parent introduces their child to someone, they practically force the child to initiate physical contact – ‘give uncle a kiss, beta,’ or ‘let aunty kiss you on the cheek,’ etc.
I’ll stop now because I can go on and on and i don’t want to write a mini-essay in your comments!
If you’re interested, I’ve actually written a few blog posts about it here: All That Matters || IndiChange: Prevent CSA
It’s scar to think that it actually happens! BUt kudos to you for writing about these things, you are making a difference!
Random Thoughts Naba
The worst of all the evils in today’s world.It hurts a lot.
Its a very sad yet true story. Child abuse has been prevalent from so many years. Just about recently a woman I know told me about how she was abused as a child. And child abuse is not just being touched physically. Even the things spoken to a child that corrupt its innocent mind, talking about sex for instance to a little child is also abusive. Children are like little flowers , just let them be that ways. I love that you wrote about this. Each of us must do our little bit in creating awareness
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A topic I wish we choose to highlight and talk openly to generate awareness. I am so glad that you wrote this. Sharing it.
I have been a victim so I had to write on this Rekha! I know what it did to me is doing to me — I still can’t trust the opposite sex that’s what it did to me! I doubt their good intentions towards me and get suspicious if they are dripping sugar — be it anyone!