You get married with a hope, love and a song in your heart. You get married because you have found the right person to share your life with. After a long dating session you fall in love with the person you decide to tie the knot. And it was surely for keeps – in richness, in poor, in health and in sickness – so then what changed? Is it your unrealistic expectations, is it your spouse’s quirky behaviour that’s driving you wild, or is it something deeper? Whatever happened? It’s between you and your spouse and you both need to resolve it and here are some tips to save your marriage and avoid divorce.
Before you even decide to take a drastic step of ending your marriage you need to read this:
1. Soul searching
The words ‘marriage is for keeps’ are true even today and you should try all that you can to salvage a bad marriage. And this is where soul searching comes in. You need to reminisce about the past and see where, when and how did your marriage started to crumble. Unless you do that you can not salvage your marriage. So do that today itself. Sit with a pen and paper and write down everything you remember about the past and compare it to the present to secure a good future.
2. Start communicating
Marriages fail because partners stop communicating with each other. There could be various reasons why there is no communication between the partners and the most common one is lack of time with the oncoming of children, busy office and home schedule leave the couple with less time to talk to each other.
3. Fight fairly
If you are not looking for a divorce then please fight fairly with your spouse. Nobody is stopping you from the fight but don’t bring irrelevant issues in the fight and keep it to the present which means that don’t rake up the past as it will only cause bitterness and there will be no solutions. Spouses who fight fairly have better chances of reconciliation as compared to those who don’t fight fairly.
4. Stop the blame game
Do remember that you will not gain anything from blaming each other for a failing marriage. Instead put your heads together and think of a plan to bring the lost glory in your marriage. Blaming each other will not help you at all in saving your marriage. So even if your spouse is trying to blame for everything understand that it’s not true and that they are angry at something. Hence talk to them when they are not stressed and ask them what they want.
5. Leave complacency
It is observed that after few years into the marriage the couples become complacent and start taking each other for granted. Result is that one spouse feels neglected, unwanted, and unloved. So shed that complacency and start taking care of yourself, your spouse, and your marriage for a meaningful alliance with your spouse.
6. Little things
Little things like paying attention to your spouse, taking care of them when they are down, giving them a massage are the things that go unappreciated at this time. So it is time that you both sit together and remember each little thing that you did for each other and remember them verbally. It will surely help to bring the spark back in your marriage.
7. Go for counselling
When you feel that everything you have tried has failed and you are still determined to save your marriage then your best bet is a marriage counsellor.
Hopefully with these tips you are able to save your marriage and live happily ever after.